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Poker Blog established in 2003 as the first stop for poker news, poker stories, and bad poker advice.

February 28, 2006

Shortbuy City

by Otis

I remember one morning in Tunica when the Showered People invaded our table full of sleepless stinkers. All night long, I'd watched drunks, gamblers, and neophytes sit down at the game and buy-in for $100 at a time. I'd bought in for a grand. Now, the Showered People were buying in for $3000-$4000. I remember the thought like I had it two minutes ago.

"The smart money just sat down. Time to go."

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Permalink | Poker Theory

February 26, 2006

The Coushatta Massacre

by Luckbox

In August 1874, dozens of freed slaves and six men from Northern Louisiana were told to leave the state of Louisiana by some redneck cowards who didn't like the idea of carpetbaggers and free blacks in South Louisiana. As those 6 white men and the dozens of freed slaves with them were headed toward Texas, they were run down by 40 men and killed. Their bodies were dumped in shallow graves. No one was ever convicted of the crime. This happened just outside the town of Coushatta, Louisiana.

I wish I had known that history before I took my carpet-bagging self to the Coushatta Casino for a little poker. There was another massacre and my bankroll might as well be in a shallow grave.

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Permalink | Tournament Action

February 21, 2006

The Luckbox/Former Star Trek Actor/American Idol Live Blog

by Luckbox

Tonight, I shall attempt a feat never accomplished by one man alone. I will not only live blog my own action in the WWdN tourney. But I will also live blog the action of luckbox-in-training Wil Wheaton (of Stand By Me fame, you know). And, to really blow your mind, I'll throw in a little American Idol, too. Who knows, if I make it deep enough, we might start talking about The Shield!

Without further ado... here it goes...

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Permalink | Tournament Action


by G-Rob

Two years ago Johnny and I drove 9 hours to Daytona. We stopped halfway and charged the company for dinner and a dingy Comfort Inn. I've never been a NASCAR fan, never watched a race, never understood the attraction at all.

Still, we'd been sent there, a token news crew, to do a series of "feature" profiles. The empty suits down the hall figure a week of stories about people who like NASCAR will draw viewers who like NASCAR for all of "Race Week". I cut the ribbon on an unlucky streak that week. It was born again last week.

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Permalink | G-Rob's Thoughts

February 19, 2006

Staying at the Spring Hotel

by Otis

It's a shame, I thought, that big boys so easily accept the nickname "Buddha." I was taking a piss on a brick wall and noted there were no pros next to me. Once again, it would be up to Pauly to chronicle the urination habits of the big time players. As for me, I would walk around the corner and scare Buddha out of his pants.

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Permalink | Playing For Money

February 17, 2006

I Wish I Were in L.A. (UPDATED)

by Luckbox

I'm only in La., not L.A., so the only way I'm going to feel like I'm there is through the words of our liveblogging brethren...

Jason is continuing his sweet gig with Bluff Magazine and brining us updates and photos (more Evelyn Ng!).

And, of course, the original live-blogger himself is working his fingers to the bone without the benefit of a cozy professional gig. Make sure you stop by...

(Update: The UFP boys think this might be a good marketing tool for Pauly at the WSOP ---Otis)

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Permalink | Luckbox's Thoughts

February 16, 2006


by Otis

I pulled a red chip and a white chip off my stack and handed it the old man in the Mardi Gras beads. I'd been waiting for more than an hour for my food order to arrive. I was patient because the Gold Strike offered free food to its players. C.J. was on his way to winning an $1800 pot, fueled by pure adrenaline and a tasty meatball sub that had arrived in 30 minutes.

The old man took the toke and asked me if I needed anything else. I said no, but he stood over me as I dug into the container. My mouth was already awash with au jus.

I opened the styrofoam and saw a few chips and another container full of what appeared to be vomit. Since the old dude was still standing over me, I said, "I ordered a French Dip."

"That's the only kind of dip they had," he said, as if the vomit in the styrofoam was as close to a French Dip sandwich as he could muster. "Do you want something else?"

I agreed that I did, in fact, want a French Dip sandwich, knowing I'd never see the old dude again. Bad beat, I figured, and ate the vomit.

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Permalink | Tunica Tales

February 14, 2006

Old Habits and the New Me

by G-Rob

I'm doing better these days. It's universally true, I think, that the people who appear to have great ego are often in desparate need. I like to boast. Like most, there is usually an inverse correlation between boasting and self-esteem.

Yes, I'm sounding like Dr. Phil today.

No, I don't intend to write a whole damn blog about it.

Instead, I've made some changes to my poker regimen that have made me happy...not winning streak happy.

Just happy.

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Permalink | G-Rob's Thoughts

February 12, 2006

The Ten Commandments of Tournament Poker

by Luckbox

I've virtually given up on ring games, except in a live setting. Online ring games just don't hold any appeal to me. I can win money there if I'm committed, but, for some reason, I don't seem to have the consistent focus needed to succeed like Otis.

And so I play tournaments. Occasionally, I'll mix in a single-table SNG, but for the most part, I'm playing the MTT's with guaranteed prize pools. Pacific has nightly 15K and 10K tourneys. Full Tilt Poker has a nightly 10.5K, 16K and 8K (if i remember correctly). And at PokerStars, the 180 SNG's have a first prize of $1080. On the weekends, you can find guarantees ranging from 50K to 750K.

Over that time, I've developed a few rules for myself, and I call them the Ten Commandments of Tournament Poker.

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Permalink | Poker Theory

February 9, 2006

F&#@ the River

by Luckbox

Play pool table poker with us, and you're bound to hear the host exclaim, "F$@# the river!!!" He tends to believe that fifth card is more unfair to him than anyone else. I've been known to suck out on him once or twice, but, as we know, that doesn't make him special.

With that in mind, we decided it might be a little more fair to him if we switched things up a bit. And with that, a new game was born:

F@#$ the River

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Permalink | Playing For Fun

February 7, 2006

In the pit with Otis and C.J.

by Otis

The banks and circles of slot machines sat like a technicolor M.C. Escher eye explosion. Two round female security guards were zombies at the rear exit of the buffet. A middle-aged man rushed by, intent on getting somewhere fast. I stood still in the middle of it with my cell phone in my hand.

Maybe it's different for everybody. Maybe it's just a matter of perception. For me, it's like the empty-headed stupor that follows good sex. My vision is clear but I can't see anything on the periphery. Thoughts refuse to coalesce. Intentions present themselves and disappear as quickly as they came. Only, unlike a welcome visit from the Afterglow Bird, there is no electric tingle, no deep feeling of satisfaction. Instead, everything is just numb when I bust out of a live tournament.

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Permalink | Tunica Tales

February 4, 2006


by G-Rob

There's a long story behind my latest google search and it taught me a bit about myself and my poker problem. It goes something like this:

I've spent the past 10 minutes trying to find out what the hell happened to Steve Guttenberg.

He was big cheese back in the day, like a sort of Owen Wilson guy with a specific 80's spin. I'd say his career was derailed, as much as anything, by his inability to steer clear of bad sequels.

To wit:

1984 - Police Academy (Cadet Mahoney)
Steve is a total badass with a long record. His punishment: Join the police force. This was a brilliant explaination of the LA Police Department pre-Rodeny King. Plus, there were hot girls at the academy.

1985 - Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (Officer Mahoney)
At this point the guy who does sound effects was still funny. The rest of the movie was not.

1986 - Police Academy 3: Back in Training (Sgt. Mahoney)
Still not funny, but working closer to the unfunny/funny split.

1987 - Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (Sgt. Mahoney)
I saw this movie AT an actual honest-to God movie theater. I kid you not.

Steve had the good sense to steer clear of Police Academy 5, 6, and 7. The damage was already done. By the time he did "Three Men and a Little Lady" his sequel problems had killed his career.

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Permalink | G-Rob's Thoughts

February 1, 2006

How to waste $1000

by Otis

Jessica was her name. She wore giant rocks on her fingers and a black leather jacket on her shoulders. She ordered filet and crab cakes at the table. At 4am, she'd sat down on my left and pulled what appeared to be two grand in hundreds on the table to back up her rack of red. She straddled at the first opportunity and I couldn't help stealing a glance at her torso. I wondered how much her breasts had cost and if she'd had the tiny love-handles before she started playing poker.

If there had been speculation about anything in the Tunica Grand poker room over the past few days, Jessica was in the center of it. She always had cash, whether she was wining or losing. She was always on the phone. She was always getting snarky with someone.

"Her daddy is rich," said one local.

Another local raised an eyebrow. "Her daddy or her sugar daddy?"

I wasn't sure it mattered. To be fair, the girl knew the game pretty well. Also to be fair, she wasn't afraid to put the money in when she had reason to believe she was ahead. Finally, to be fair, it seemed that winning or losing a few grand wasn't going to change her outlook on life very much.

When 4:30am rolled around, Jessica started craning her neck, looking for a better game, a game where the players were soft, a place where her Mississippi good looks and large roll of cash could win her a few hundred bucks more toward creating the perfect Poker Bitch persona. While she craned, I racked up with a small profit. I'd promised myself I wouldn't stay up all night before the $1000 event on Saturday.

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Permalink | Tunica Tales