Why Sports Betting is Unwise
by G-Rob
So let me start by saying, yes, I've invested in the "Wacky Pick 6" ordeal. I have some degree of faith in the horse picking acumen of BG and Luckbox. But nobody, not even those with initials for names can outpick me (I use an initial AND a name) in football.
Observe...
(Ed. note: Luckbox's picks are now added. And there are other "initial-names" I can think of, like F-You A-Hole.)
G-Rob: Hello, and good luck this week. Lots of good games. I hope to use skill and insight in picking them all just right.
Coin: Ping.
G-Rob: Well said. Now let's agree on methods. I'll look up the gambling lines on NFL games (as of Saturday morning) then flip you, dear coin, to determine the winner. Heads is the home team... Tails the visitor.
Coin: Ting
G-Rob: Word
G-Rob: Our first game...
KANSAS CITY +2.5 AT ST.LOUIS
Coin: Heads
G-Rob: Good read Mr. Coin. I agree. I like the Rams because they used to have Kurt Warner, and now they don't. Plus, St. Louis is the most dangerous city in America. The Chiefs will be scared.
Luckbox's pick: Kansas City, to win outright.
CINCINNATI +3 AT BALTIMORE
Coin: Tails
G-Rob: WOW! You and I are really on the same page. I like the Bengals because they have that cool "Fear the Tiger" song. Plus, nobody QUOTHS the Raven anymore. Nevermore!
G-Rob: Next up...
Luckbox's pick: Cincinnati, although the Bengals blow.
HOUSTON +13 AT N.Y. GIANTS
Coin: Heads
G-Rob: Damn you're good. By the way, did you know there's a college football coach named Houston Nutt? Nutt? HAW HAW! I'm glad that didn't influence your decision coin. I'd have been distracted.
Luckbox's pick: New York, not even I'm dumb enough to pick the Texans.
TITANS + 9.5 AT JACKSONVILLE
Coin: Heads
G-Rob: Starting to doubt the whole randomness thing Mr. Coin. You're really trying to impress me, aren't you? Don't worry... there's no WAY we could do worse than Luckbox.
Luckbox's pick: Titans beat the spread.
COWBOYS -3 AT REDSKINS
Coin: Heads
G-Rob: I'm checking you... hey... I'm not getting fresh... I want to see your... ouch... OK. You do have tails. I'm just sayin'.
Luckbox's pick: Crygirls, although I hate picking them.
PACKERS +3 AT BILLS
Coin: Tails
G-Rob: Nice. I agree because I'm sick of Bills. Plus, Otis is kind of a Packer.
Luckbox's pick: Buffalo, Favre is on his last leg.
SAINTS -1 at BUCS
Coin: Tails
G-Rob: I'm gonna go with you again coin, but I have my doubts. Athiests have a had time rooting for Saints. At least Pirates exist.
Luckbox's pick: New Orleans... they've got some magic.
FALCONS -5.5 AT LIONS
Coin: Tails
G-Rob: I like this pick because I've interviewed Vick. He was looking for an ear ring on the practice field and I asked him about the grass. I was doing a profile of the guy who cuts it. Plus, my sister in law had a drink with him at a hotel bar. Besides, Ron Mexico is an awesome nickname.
Luckbox's pick: Atlanta, the Lions just aren't very good.
DOLPHINS +13.5 AT BEARS
Coin: Tails
G-Rob: Hmmm, even Luckbox and BG might not make such a silly pick. But, since we're trying to show how useless that analysis is... good pick Mr. Coin.
Luckbox's pick: Bears, by 30 (my lock of the week).
VIKINGS -5.5 AT 49ERS
Coin: Heads
G-Rob: Well said. I think Joe Montana is awesome. You'll have to excuse him, he's upstairs masturbating. (Bonus Points to readers who get that joke.)
Luckbox's pick: Minnesota covers.
BROWNS +12.5 AT CHARGERS
Coin: Heads
G-Rob: This makes me happy because I once won a bunch of money in the Mandalay Bay Sportsbook while singing the Charger fight song with AlCan'tHang. Good Times.
Luckbox's pick: San Diego covers with or without Merriman.
DENVER +3 AT PITTSBURGH
Coin: Heads
G-Rob: I hope you're wrong. I hate Pittsburgh.
Luckbox's pick: Denver wins outright.
COLTS +3 AT NEW ENGLAND
Coin: Tails
G-Rob: I also hate New England. Never met anyone from Boston that wasn't either and asshole or a nerd. Nerds mostly.
Luckbox's pick: Colts win outright.
RAIDERS +7.5 at SEAHAWKS
Coin: Tails
G-Rob: Good Pick again. And remember, dear coin, you're just as likely to succeed as BG and Luckbox. In fact, I'll bet you do better.
Luckbox's pick: Seahawks in a romp.
