It's obvious I hold some amount of disdain for my own poker skills. I try to make that as clear as possible. I suck at poker. It's been my mantra from the first day I started my hack postings here. At first, I said it because it was demonstrably true. Sure I've shown SOME improvement since then, it would be hard not to just by sheer repitition, but I still haven't cleared the SUCK hurdle. Not against tough competition.
Probably the best comparison is with golf, a game millions play but none master. Still, some players are very very good and the rest of us just keep hacking away. Like my poker game, I've improved somewhat at golf, but against someone who actually PLAYS the sport, I totally suck.
TAKE THE LOCAL GAMES
Somehow, I've been fairly profitable in the local circuit...so much so that I'm always looking for new action. We've got a hardy few here, like the original Texas road gamblers, who can sniff out a beatable table a hundred miles away. Usually, that's good news for me. Within a few orbits I can usually peg the style of the weaker players, (the calling stations and the maniacs) and use that to my advantage. But some players still own me...and they're the ones who don't suck.
The other bloggers, for example, like Otis and Badblood always kick me in the groin. The smartest local players like TheMark and his brother TheRick can dominate an entire table and me along with it. Whenever I sit down with a table of players I know understand the game, I'm still intimidated and thrown off my game.
I'm like the Bengals, I can beat the bad teams and build a winning record...but the good teams are still better.
Which is why I'm sorta nervous about Las Vegas this year. I had a terrible time at the first blogger event last December. (Actually I had an incredibly GOOD time...but not financially) I got my ass handed to me at almost every game. When the bloggers went back this past summer, I actually turned a small profit, but again, not against the bloggers themselves. Instead, BadBlood and I scouted out some rather weak games...where even I could make money.
This time, as I've told Otis, I'm determined to take a chunk of bankroll to a bigger limit and see how far I can go. That really scares me to death.
What if these guys have some modicund of skill?
Then I probably don't stand a chance.
I'll still take the shot, if only to confirm that I still suck at poker.
WHY WHINE NOW?
The other night, while talking to Otis on the girly chatterbox device, I again mentioned "I suck at poker". And for the first time, he told me to shut-up about it. Perhaps I should. I do win money, and most players would be happy with that, but remember, this isn't about results.
The problem is, I've had a real crisis of medocrity. I feel like I'm stuck on an endless plateau, where the horrible newbies are beneath me and the REAL players are still well beyond reach. I felt like I absorbed a tremendous amound of poker insight when I first took up the game, and now new concepts have a very hard time taking root.
Frankly, I can't wait for Vegas. But part of me is scared to death.