Alright.
So here we are.....
My expectations for assignment was temporary, at best. At least I thought so. However, after a game of Yahoo Chess with G-Rob (I'll protect his somewhat sissy IM name, no offense intended) ended abruptly with him leaving the table when I brought up the "name that we no longer speak of", my expectations are changing by the minute.....
I have been informed that I will be utilized as comic relief. For anyone who has seen me play poker, this shouldn't be difficult.
Although I've tasted moderate success at the Vegas Poker Tables (that's right, I'm a 1/3 Poker Pussy), I've cleaned up at the very sporadic home game (13 year olds on Allowance Mondays are a very lucrative target), and I just missed the money when I bubbled out in the Brad-O-Ween tourney, there has always been this ever quiet whispering (albeit, isn't all whispering generally quiet??) about my skillz.
That's right! I said skillz with a "z".
I've won a handful of online tournaments and when I say handful, I'm referring to a somewhat small hand. Maybe the size of a child midget's palm.
The knock on me is that I don't play enough. That some how you have to spend countless hours in front of your computer surfing porn while you wait for anything better than 10/9 off to go all in with your remaining 100 chips to consider yourself experienced.
The other knock on me is that I don't study the game enough. That some how you have to DVR every episode of any poker related show and watch every poker movie ever made often enough to quote even the most obscure lines.
"Hate don't belong in a card game, but old man, I'm gonna take every grain of gold you have in front of you." Anyone??? Anyone?? Buehler?
http://imdb.com/title/tt0066050/
The fact is, some people just got it. Lebron James didn't need to go to college before becomming one of the most dominate players in the NBA. Happy Gilmore won the first PGA major he entered and he was a hockey player. The list goes on and on, but I won't bore you with examples, you get the picture.
Skill is gained from experience, from knowledge. Skillz come from a higher power.
So the next time my wife lets me spend $50 bucks to juice up my online poker account, I'm ready to put on a show.
In the meantime, I'm thrilled to be a permanent addition to the UpForPoker family.