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Poker Blog established in 2003 as the first stop for poker news, poker stories, and bad poker advice.

August 1, 2005

"A total rambling mess for which I apologize" OR "A Novice"

by G-Rob

In each of the last few years I'd mark off the days with an "X", a full cross from corner to corner. It made my At-A-Glance calendar look like a cheap hillbilly quilt. For awhile I'd make the slash right at punchout time, just after I logged out of the system. After a year or so that time moved up, and I'd cast the day aside before heading out to lunch. Now, I don't make a mark at all.

Of course, even the NAMES of days help mark the passage of life. I promise to kill the next co-worker who laments "another Monday". Its not as if Tuesday will be any different. Really, you're just waiting for the weekend, which means you're willing to fast-foreward nearly 5/7 of your entire life.

By MY math

I'm an overweight smoker with a high-stress life. When my wife makes a healthy meal I'm careful to avoid anything that ever, directly, turned the sun into fuel. I've started hitting the gym again and, while my workout is much the same as ever, it hurts a lot more than it ever did before. Today, before leaving for work, i heard this gem :

Older child : Mommy, what's a diet?

Mommy : You don't need to worry about it sweetie. You eat healthy food.

Older child : So who DOES use a "diet"?

Mommy : Well, it wouldn't kill your father.

When my lifestlye chokes me, it'll leave that frozen smile of marital bliss. God help me!

I figure that clock, the human sundial, can run another 30 years. That's the best case scenario. If so, that's 10,955 days (with 5 leap years included). Only 3130 of those days are on the weekend. It would be a shame to ignore the rest.


All this "life to the fullest" crap reminds me of THE MATRIX. The first film is super-cool, and one long action packed self-realization sequence makes it so. For 150 minutes we follow an emotionally stunted and verbally challenged computer programmer on a journey of self-discovery. Things are always happening or just about to happen, but they're never scheduled for 3:00 on Thursday. Even the character's name signals change, his nickname is "Neo". The film was a huge hit.

They made 2 other movies after that with the same characters and such, but both of the follow-ups suck. By the second installment Neo IS, and the plot just dies from there. Becoming is better than being.

The BIBLE is about Jesus' journey to our redemption, dear reader, and once that happens you've found the back cover.

On Time

Tonight I sat down behind the temporary set just a few minutes before 6. I'd already fixed the last of the stray hairs and my makeup was powder smooth. Our rundown was set 30 minutes before and the lights had warmed to thier fiery peak. The show was ready to air.

But, on every weekend shift, we're ready to start but ready to slide. Our lead-in is usualy a sport of some kind....we're NBC so its usually vollyball or arena football or golf...and live sports ain't over till they're over. That means I usually get an eyefull of sports that aren't too great, or which used to be great, or which NBC can afford.

Tonight was the "Champions Tour", which was called the "Senior Tour" before someone realized how pathetic that sounds. Sweaty old men wear collared shirts that haven't fit them in years while putting themselves to forgotten glory. Some of them haven't sniffed a good round since "Land of Confusion" was a breakthrough video, and these days there's not enough love to go 'round.

I wondered why these guys still do it. What did they hope to prove? Do they still need the money? Then it hit me, they're working on their game.


I talk a lot of trash. Especially when I'm facing a superior opponent. That's why I taunted BadBlood into an arm wrestling showdown I was sure he'd win. Its part of the reason I crawl into the Otis head before every poker game, its a tight fit but Otis has a Huuuuuuge noggin.

I had a long fit of distaste and dispassion about my hamster wheel. Then I simply DECIDED to enjoy it again. Yes, that's just the attitude that got Ann Richards elected governor, but sometimes its that simple. Life is a challenge, but without challenge why bother?

I enjoy these stupid homegames more every time we play. Some of the players are a challenge. So many styles to compare! I'm nowhere near the poker player I think I can be and the challenge is the reason I play.

There are 14,000 blogs out there that chronicle the sucess of the genius against the donkey. What fun is that really? Money is nice, but the thrill is cheap. I'm not that good, I'm a novice player, and I love the game as much as anyone.

I'm setting up a game for Thursday now. I have to hurry. After tonight I only have 1,564 Mondays left!

| G-Rob's Thoughts